Imaging living with just your emotions!!
Imagine living with logic alone!
If we walk around with an emotional mind we look like someone who has no self control and ultimately lower self esteem. Or, a big one, distrust in most people around us because of our own unrealistic expectations of the world.
If we walk around with logic all day, we look like someone who judges, seems heartless, or believes there is no middle ground. For a person who uses logic less, this may seem like the ideal place to be. For a person who uses emotion less, they may feel as though they don't need proof of something to know what it is! Sheesh!
There has to be a middle ground for these two extremes. This is one of the cornerstones for combating codependency.
A codependent person is someone who is with or cares for a dependent person. Often kids who are used to taking care of adults who deal with dependent behaviors (ie: alcohol abuse, illness, substances, etc.), grow into adults who take care of people. Often a person who is codependent, over helps. Do you know someone like that? Are you someone like that?
Have you gotten disappointment out of a relationship(s) where you have given your time, money, attention, property, home, or love?
This is a more common issue than a lot of us realize, as we all want to help others. We don't want to see people we care about suffering. But the question you want to ask yourself, using logic and emotion together, is "What would this person do if I were not around?"
Writing down your logic and reasoning is a great way to start setting boundaries, with people and things that take more away from you than invest.
Codependent person- Gives their car to their irresponsible sibling because they need to get to work, and earn the rent that they have owed you for weeks. The sibling is not actually going to work, and wrecked the car.
Emotional person- 'I love my brother. What will people think if I leave him hanging. He will hate me, and will not help with rent. (Anger) He always does this to me! I will just change the keys and get this car fixed. I will take him to court and have his license taken'. An emotional person may withdraw from their sibling until another "emergency" happens.
Logical person-'He is has no room to grow. There is nothing I can do to help him. He will not pay rent, so I will kick him out today.' A logical person will use the past to drive most of their decisions.
A Wise Person:
- Learns from the experience
- Considers the person's needs and assesses the areas the other person is responsible
- Sets boundaries and says "No" regardless of the other person's reactions
- Looks at the truth.
~We are so excited to get into the topic of Codependency with you with our upcoming series! "I Need Me Too" By Coach Sabrina is almost here!~