I have had some questions since the last blog Tips for Avoiding Unnecessary Drama (Part 1) that took me some time to gather together for Part 2! Bear with me as this won't be long...
First Question: What if you are born into drama?
My Answer: It is hard to avoid family members. We have this innate belief that family comes first, in everything. When we become old enough to speak for ourselves, identify our values and set boundaries with people, we are then able to do so with family. Believe it or not no one has to be loyal to family drama. It is possible to be there for someone with set boundaries.
If your sibling asks to borrow your car and gets into a crash with it, it may cause some natural emotional reaction. You decide not to allow your sibling to borrow your possessions due to this event. Your sibling then engages in arguments and manipulation every time you tell them "no". This would be considered "unnecessary drama" if you felt the need to react every time, as it has not hit the core of the issue. At this point you consider finding support from someone mutual who can help you stick to your boundaries. You may also seek professional guidance if things have gotten out of hand.
Second Question: What if you like drama?
My Answer: Well first, the title itself says "unnecessary drama". The word unnecessary means something is not needed or it is undesirable. Someone may have let this person know the drama they like or create is not right. There is a difference in watching drama unfold on T.V. It is another situation when you are the author or in the midst of drama yourself. Create the divide, find out why you need that kind of excitement. You may also look at the people you surround yourself with and notice the situations they seem to encounter and how they handle them. Consider meeting people who handle drama more peacefully, heck, just meet new people and expand your interpersonal skills!
Third Question: How do I tell someone how I feel without sounding naggy?
My Answer: When situations and emotions from them are kept bottled up what do you think happens? Have you experienced that yet? There can be an implosion (internal eruption) or an explosion (external eruption) and neither of them feel good. We often may even feel "crazy". One tip to express yourself without feeling like you are nagging them, no matter who they are, is to think of how you would feel if you were doing something that is disrupting their life. How would you want them to tell you? Otherwise, if this is a relationship you feel you cannot be transparent in, is it a relationship worth maintaining at the expense of your wellness.
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